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https://scottnaismith.com/art-speak-arty-nonsense-exposed/
I despair when I see pretentious, meaningless, tongue twisting nonsense spoken in some artists’ statements. The culprits are mainly the conceptual artists who need to bamboozle you with an attempt at philosophical genius in order to camouflage the insignificance of the poorly executed end product. Glasgow’s gallery of modern art.
https://www.yinchua.com/journal/2019/3/14/generate-pretentious-artist-statement-and-art-description
Generate Pretentious Artist Statement and Art Description — Oil and Watercolor Paintings by Yin Chua Fountain is one of Duchamp's most famous works and is widely seen as an icon of twentieth-century art. Fountain is an example of what Duchamp called a 'readymade', an ordinary manufactured object designated by the artist as a work of art.
https://thomasfarleyblog.com/2018/05/17/a-bots-answer-to-pretentious-artist-statements/
Artist Statement (second iteration) My work explores the relationship between Pre-raphaelite tenets and emotional memories. With influences as diverse as Nietzsche and Frida Kahlo, new tensions are created from both mundane and transcendant meanings. Ever since I was a pre-adolescent I have been fascinated by the endless oscillation of the moment.
https://artybollocks.com/
Artist statements are difficult things to write. Maybe you hate writing them. Hate no more. Generate your own artist statement for free at the click of a button. If you don't like it, generate another one. Use the statement for funding applications, exhibitions, curriculum vitae, websites, whatever your needs. We give you permission to do so.
https://blog.timesunion.com/chrismarblo/artist-statements-the-good-the-bad-or-the-not-so-necessary/38/
Artists who write muddled, vague, or pretentious statements put a barrier between themselves and their audience. But an even more radical approach should be considered – abandon the artist’s...
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-instant-art-critique-_n_1878337
For every beautiful, complex and challenging work of art, attempting to explain your opinion on it is doomed to end in potentially dozens of pretentious statements. Art critique is hard (especially when discussing "negative capabilities", so Woody Allen and HuffPost Arts & Culture were more than pleased to find a tool to do all the work for us.
https://www.artbusinessinfo.com/examples-of-artists-statements.html
A send-up of the sort of pretentious artspeak seen in many an artist statement by John Seed the Huffington Post Arts blogger and a professor of art and art history He uses 24 great European works of art t0 satirise the language of Postmodern art writing.
https://www.metafilter.com/162010/Top-Ten-Words-I-am-Sick-Of-Seeing-On-Artist-Statements
I have reached a point in my life where this is now my artist's statement in its entirety: "I like to make pretty things." Because I absolutely refuse to play that game anymore. (And one of the great things about being an artist is that refusing to play the game just makes you seem more artsy.)
https://thetab.com/uk/cambridge/2016/11/11/successful-pretentious-cambridge-statements-80123
Writing a personal statement for Cambridge is agonising. ... “gap yah” plans and pretentious name drops. ... ‘I can’t escape being that ridiculous art kid that’s walking down King’s ...
http://rising.blackstar.com/why-i-dont-like-artist-statements.html
A lengthy, cryptic artist’s statement is deplorable, but to claim that a work of art should stand on its own merits is to say, ‘My work of art is so good it doesn’t need explaining. If it has to be explained to you you’re just an ignoramus,’ seems to be the height of arrogance.
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